Getting back on the Beanstalk

I have been a teeeeeeeerrible blogger (and writer) lately. I began studying again mid-year so am learning to juggle full time work, part time university, wife-ing and assignments. I know – no mortgage and no children – my life is so difficult. So truthfully I’ve spent the time being a full-time neglectful wanker to my laptop and manuscript. This whole grabbing life by the balls is starting to make my head feel tightly con-caved. I’m angry at myself for procrastinating something I love doing and honestly it gets a little self damaging. I sat at my desk the other day holding a stapler, looking to a radiant and irresistible day outside and thought ‘what am I doing with my life’; hence the enrollment back to university. I want to take my writing seriously, so therefore when I’m not writing, I want to be teaching kids to write – yet apparently I need a qualification for that. Hooray. Plus it simply keeps my head out of the oven.


I had a night to myself last week and thought I needed to get back in touch with escapism, so I watched Jack the Giant Slayer. Quite an adorable yet pleasantly gory flick. Obviously it’s a family event, and no doubt the kids love the nose-picking, wart covered giants. However it was a sweet, funny, action packed bit of fun that killed my boredom for 2 hours.

Nicholas Hoult has turned into such a bit of crumpet since About a Boy. I’ll be honest, that’s why I watched it – but yeeesss he is also a good actor. Jack is the handsome underdog farmer’s boy that you love seeing win the fight and the girl (Eleanor Tomlinson as Princess Isabelle). There was no astounding pumping chemistry between the two innocent love bird mains, but you’re still rooting for them and thinking ‘hehe, cute’ when they finally kiss. Stanley Tucci (one of my favourite actors) was as creepy and arrogant as ever when he does his asshole roles. Bill Nighy’s voice is such a treat to hear when playing a bad guy. Ian McShane should always play someone in power as he has the perfect uppity voice and that comical annoyed look. Ewan McGregor, and I suppose all the cast had such a theatrical way of acting in this piece which was quite fitting due to the fairytale behind it. Everything was quite fluffy for the children – but is that always bad…naahhhh. Yet the puffed up tale still had some cajones with the surprising amount of gore that was in it. Cute little lambs getting eaten by giants, heads bitten off, live pigs tooth-picked into pastry, eyes exploding, horses squished, bodies falling from the stalk, yet it was that silly kind of gore that makes you remember it’s just a fun film. Some may read this and go eww, but I like a bit of family-friendly gore, so for me it gave the action some oomph.

If you haven’t seen it, grab the wine and popcorn, grab the kids or mates and enjoy it for what it is.

2 thoughts on “Getting back on the Beanstalk

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